I replied with a very grateful, “Thank you

I chose Psalm 18: 25-36, which states:

I was sitting in chapel at NCU one day, and I felt like I needed to pray about some decisions (and other things) that I needed an answer for. I prayed something along the lines of: “Lord, I really don’t deserve an answer right at this moment, but if You could just provide some sort of an answer for me sometime, that’d be helpful.” I then left it at that and continued on with my day. Later that same day, I went to go pick up my brother from Northwestern and was hanging out in one of the buildings https://hookupdate.net/mousemingle-review/ (reading) until he got out of class. People would pass by me occasionally, and as they did, I would look up and respond with a quick “Hi” and a smile (in which they would sometimes respond back). At one point, this girl passed by me and I reacted just as I had with everyone else who had walked by, and then I continued to read. But then I noticed that the girl had turned around and was headed toward me, so I thought, “Maybe she recognizes me or something.”

I sort of forgot that I had prayed/asked for an answer earlier!

“Excuse me,” she said. “I’m sorry to interrupt and I hope that this isn’t out of place or anything, but I just felt like the Lord was telling me that you are His Faithful Servant, and He just wanted you to know that.” (Ok, let me tell you, I was so shocked). That really means a lot to me,” to which she replied, “You’re welcome” and told me to have a good rest of my day. I responded “You too” and then she left. I immediately called some of my friends to tell them what happened (very quickly I might add because my phone was about to die) and they were all amazed when I told them. In fact, it still hits me even while writing about it now! 🙂

You see, in a way, this was my answer. When I prayed during chapel earlier that day, I didn’t think I deserved an answer because I hadn’t really been paying attention to the person speaking. (I was on my phone the whole time (guilty. ) and besides, I hadn’t really been seeking the Lord anyway, so I definitely didn’t feel like I deserved an answer at all). Not only was this my answer, but I didn’t think it would come so fast! I wasn’t expecting it! What are the odds that I would be at my brother’s school (which I didn’t even attend), and this girl would pass by me at that particular time and talk to me?! I’ve never even met her before! Woah! That’s so the Lord’s hand working! 🙂

Not long before this God-encounter happened, I was assigned to find a “psalm that articulates something that you feel” and then share it in my Performance Prep class. I had sort of forgotten about it, so when it came time for me to share, I kind of chose something rather quickly before class began.

As I reflect back on the moment now, I wonder if the specific words that I used weren’t said how I wanted them to have been said. I also wonder if I should have continued the conversation and asked the lady if she wanted to make Jesus the Lord and Savior of her life. At times, I even feel like Satan is continuing to fill my head with “what if” thoughts to try and convince me that what I did for this lady doesn’t matter. But then I am reminded of this: It does matter. Sure, it doesn’t matter about the exact word choices that I may have used. What matters more is that I was obedient enough to plant the seed. I hope and pray that the Lord will cause it to grow by bringing other people into the lady’s life to help it do so.

If I can be vulnerable with all of you for a moment, I’ll be honest in saying that after relying on the Lord to carry me through the challenge of my recital, I sort of stopped relying on Him. I’m ashamed in admitting that this actually happens quite a lot in my life. It seems that I rely on Him only when things get really hard. It’s not supposed to be this way though! I should be relying on the Lord all the time (especially now that I’m out of college)! I should be relying on Him for everything! I need to trust Him with my future because I really don’t know what the future holds for me. Some things are clear, but most of it really isn’t. I should be trusting Him to lead and guide me, but it’s no small, easy task. I always want to try to do things in my own understanding and with my own strength, but every time I try to do so, I realize that I can’t. I just end up feeling lost and simply idling through life (like the song “The Motions” by Matthew West). Here’s an example: