For the ones that wanna go more hard-core

How fast you talk is up to you. As I said you have your unique sexual expression through words. Experiment with what feels good to you (and to the one receiving, by watching their response). If you are physically engaging with your partner while you are talkin’ dirty make sure your body reflects your words. Meaning – be engaged in your body, your body needs to match your words. It would be a super turn off if you are sitting on the couch chilling out, your lover is at the other end of the room, and you suddenly start talking dirty. Make’s sense, right?

Start with a soft-core dirty talk

Again, start slow. No master falls from heaven, we all gotta start somewhere. Which is what you’ve already got: YOU! Start with what comes naturally from you. Please don’t use words that make you (or your partner) uncomfortable; work your way up if you both want to.

There are usually two types of dirty talk: soft-core and hard-core. Soft-core is obviously softer; this may include more sweet meanings, which makes it a very approachable and easy entry point for beginners. In the beginning, you simply stick to words that are familiar to you.

Who says dirty talk during sex has to be vulgar? Again, all this has to be comfortable for both of you. Then you gently and slowly add the more naughty words and phrases here and there during sex.

Like: “I love the things you do with your tongue” “You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen!” “I want you”

In the end the words are just ways of connecting with one another. Most of our communication doesn’t work via the words you use – body language, the tone of your voice and facial expressions are way more important.

You may include swear or slang words in your phrases. Your lover might positively freak out if you suddenly use the f-word especially if you hardly ever use it. Conscious dirty talk is like a secret you have with your sweetheart. Like a secret code, a code only both of you know.

Examples for more hard-core phrases: “I want to lick your pussy” “Fuck me in my ass” “Spray your juice in my face” (in case your man is not a Tantric :-))

Like: “You taste so good” “Your skin is so soft” “I feel hot” “I feel turned on” “Oh, that feels so good!”

Takeaway: It’s more important how you say it, than what you say. Don’t focus too much on the words you use, focus on how you say it and on your intention.

2. Listen to Your Partner

People are different. Sexual expressions are different. So are our desires. Some folks love dirty talk and it makes them crazily horny, others don’t like it at all. What’s important for you to know is that for the ones who enjoy it, the way they like it might vary. Some enjoy only the large friends very soft-core vanilla like dirty talk. Some want it in their face, strong and hard. Others might get cooled off by the first f-word. So listen to your partner.

Dirty talk during sex is not about hurting anyone, it’s a mental flirt, a turn on. So before you go hard-core make 100% sure your significant other is actually into it. It’s sex play, not disrespect. Take it gradually and step-by-step.

This is really a creative process. Like an artist who is just starting out. In the beginning. your colors might be very gentle and vague, and the more you work on it the more colorful and confident your painting gets.